Looking through new eyes

Have you ever gone on what is meant to be a simple outing but found out there are obstacles in your way. Well that is my life. I now even make decisions on if I plan to go somewhere on the bases if it is accessible, is it raining outside. My life with a disability!

I have totally changed the way I look at things. I now find that I see things that I might have missed before. And sometimes I can get others to see things they too would of missed. Ever been on crutches for a long time or spent time in a wheelchair. These are the challenges I have and the what I live with.

Sometimes a negative approach can quickly impact a persons life. So here is my take with positiveness(if there is such a word).

I went to a Relief Society Christmas party the other night. I was really nice and it was an appropiate way to prepare for Christmas. We started in the chapel and then went to relief society room, so I opted for crutches, due to the moving and the seating. Well supper was on and holding a plate while using crutches is not a possibility. But the kind and thoughtful sisters in the ward were quickly asking if I would like supper. So off went a sister to get me something. Another sister decided the previous one had not got me enough so she came back with some goodies. Then another seeing I didn't have something else went to get me some more, another got me a drink. I am so grateful for these sisters and there kindness who took it upon themselves to help someone out.

I help out in Jordy's class once a week. I found this a very rewarding time to help educate others. Kids are great they asked questions most adults are scared to ask. They are often asking about my stump, and if it hurts? How it happened? I am always keen to answer the questions as it gives them an opportunity to learn about things that adults often tell them to not ask. I see these kids at the shops and they wave and say hello with the parents telling them often not to stare or to leave me alone. They tell there parents that it's okay I help at school and I let the parents know it's okay.

There is always a way to adjust to new surroundings. It takes faith, courage and time.

And to my children, they are incredible because my situation impacts on them especially. They help not always willing but they do. They don't shun the fact that I am there mother. They want to attend there events, sports and they generally want me to be there, to support. Which to me is living proof that a disability is simply something we live with not a death sentence or put us into oblivion

So when your out an about look around, take a moment to reflect and be grateful for what you have and who you have around you.

Remembering.........what I know!

Many moons ago someone told me that I should write about my experience with my car accident. I was given a journal to write down my thoughts in hospital, but I put it aside. I just didn't want to write what was going on and how I felt. My life was turned upside down in a flash and I was having a hard enough time handling the day to day life of being a patient.

I have given much thought about how I was going to address this, after much contemplation I have decided to start with 'what I know'

I know that on the 28th September 1991 that I went to sleep in my friends car as we were travelling home. I was tired as it was 6:30am in the morning and I was looking forward to crawling into bed for a couple of hours. Tim an I had some planning work to do that day.

I know that I woke up in a room with dim lights around me and some people were around me that I didn't recognise. I asked where I was? I knew it was not in Dales room where I usually slept , because she had a sky light and it is very bright of a morning. The answer was I was in hospital

I know that I was in pain and I hurt alot.

I know I didn't trust the hospital staff. I was my first visit to hospital and I was not keen to stay. I just wanted to go home. I just figured that I could get better at home.

I know that I did begin to trust the staff as they were the ones helping to take away some of the pain.

I know that I spent alot of time in surgery the first week, a little less the next week and less the next.

I know that my way of dealing with pain was to block things out. Usually by closing my eyes and waking sometime later. I did this quite often. I don't remember many visitors those first two weeks. Or the lovely bouqets of flowers I was sent. Or most funny of all conversations.

I know that people cared about me. I had phone calls I couldn't take because I was bedridden. Letters to read, cards to read, pictures and most valuable part of my recovery personal visits.

I know that only I could make a decision about getting better, I had to deal with the pain, I was to one who had to gain strength in order to deal with this.

I know that my injuries were the following: left leg -shaft fracture to the femur, compound fracture to the tibia and fibula, compound fracture to the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th metatarsals which they amputated, possible pelvic fracture which could not be fully investigated due to pregnancy. amputated left thumb at the tip where the knuckle bends. Brusied ribs, graized abdomen, exhaust pipe burns on my chest, mutiple lacerations to lower left leg some required stitches others skin graphs. And an chipped off piece of bone left wrist. And last but not least I bit through my lip and it had 8 stitches. I got to learn very quickly about my injuries as the nursing staff would say it everytime at handover which happened 3 times a day. And I was in the HDU.

I know I can scream when in severe pain. Just ask anyone in ward 2 north at Box Hill Hospital. The other patients had to listen to me alot in the first 3 weeks.

Well I think that covers the basic 'I knows', if I do any more it will go too much into other things I would like to write about.

All what I write will be about my experiences and what I have learnt from them.